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Momentary

Suspended disbelief is only momentary.

The engulfing emotions so temporary.

We fill reality with useless garbage to feel,

Something other than what is real.

*

Pain is only momentary.

Yet the scars are etched into memory.

We may stop the bleeding,

But the memories are never receding.

*

Happiness is only momentary.

We clutch at it, fearing the scars we carry.

We may be elated for years , months and days,

While insecurities tell us it’s only a phase.

*

What then is not momentary?

Casting this poem as temporary.

If I knew I would share that truth.

For now I pretend to forget. To soothe.

*

It’s all just… momentary.


What helps you escape the difficulties of life? What emotions do you find overwhelming you?

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Dare You Not…

Dare you not hear the beat of your heart?

The silent thrum,

The quiet hum,

As constant as memories, and just as forgotten?

Loud as fear,

Heavy as woe,

Deafening to afflictions tearing it apart?

 

Dare you not feel the beat of your heart,

The timid quiver

The faint whisper

As constant as regrets, and just as forgotten?

Brittle as grief,

Fragile as despair,

Indelicately manipulated till our souls depart.

 

Can you hear the silence?

and Remember to forget

Can you feel the imperceptible?

but forget to Remember.

 

Dare you not live?

 

Dreamless – Music Lyrics

guitar-1836655_1280

Bright lights and shadows,
Of a life, broken and torn,
Words left unspoken
And these lies continue to unfold.

Continue these choices
In hope, yet falling to despair
I can’t keep on holding
To this dream, I’m drowning in doubt.


Occasionally my poetry turns into songs. This is the latest one I’ve started writing.

Blue Neighbourhood

blueneighbouhood

 

Windows shut.

Doors closed.

Feet slap asphalt against darkened starless sky.

Voices murmur.

Thoughts thrum.

Stained cheeks puff cascading tears that won’t dry.

Chest heaving.

Heart palpitating.

Gasps weighed in swirling crushing sigh.

Solitude beckons.

Remorse implores.

My blue neighbourhood where scarlet wrists cry.

Love will tear us apart

LoveWIllTearUsApart

Darkness pervaded claustrophobic breadth.

Red-rimmed orbs.

Hitching chest.

Trembling hand raised before bated breath.

*

“You don’t have to do this.” cries a voice.

Hand reaching.

Heart screaming.

Drowned before grating discordant noise –


Do you cry out in your sleep?
All my feelings exposed.
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can’t function no more?


He watches reaching hand in pallid light

Cold steel cools.

Shivers still.

Final thoughts before bewitching sight.

*

The music stops and only silence ensues,

then footsteps

and mono-syllabic cry

For curling finger each hurried step pursues.


Love. Love will tear us apart.


Lyrical Muse

You are the bruises to my fist,

The impulse steering me through oncoming traffic.

Suicidal lapses play through my speakers.

“We’re slow dancing in a burning room.”

*

Hope slips through my fingers, memories at every turn,

Melancholic alcoholic; no suture where you permeated,

Gaping wounds and drafts of pain

“You’re so one in a million”

*

Heart shaped sunglasses, hindsight in darkened lenses

Regret glints; harsh reality, piercing retrospect

Harrowing double visioned rain and bow

“I’ve been locked out of heaven.”

*

Snap back to place, misshapen and broken

promises on sweet lips spill too loosely, sinking ships,

Titanic depths, lost to the ice cold abyss.

“I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart.”


Even when all else seems bleak, remember that there’s hope, guiding hearts and minds.


Words in quotation marks are lyrics from the following artists:

“We’re slow dancing in a burning room.” – John Mayer

“You’re so one in a million” – Ne yo

“I’ve been locked out of heaven.” – Bruno Mars

“I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart.” – Sia

In Need of a Saviour

A single plume of steam, slowly writhed its way up from the coffee mug, on the large wooden table she sat behind. Her hands were wrapped tightly around the mug, keeping her icy fingers warm. She sat silently, her convoluted thoughts bouncing back and forth in her mind. The kitchen was cold and gloomy. The winter sun remained hidden behind dark clouds yet letting in enough light, to illuminate the barren trees in the garden… and  the freshly dug hole. She’d been outside. Four in the morning. Robe and all. She’d held the cold steel handle of the shovel. With each hard thrust into the soft ground, her hair swung forward in disarray, swinging back as she threw dirt back behind her. Her once lime green robe turned a shade of brown, the same shade as her eyes, that stared blankly at the ground. Her mouth moved but no words formed as she ceaselessly worked the shovel into the soft earth. In her mind her past played out like a movie; the characters her family, friends and acquaintances, the protagonist herself and the story…her life. An endless loop of episodes past and present, all intermingled into one, making it difficult for her to distinguish between the time frames. There she was as a little girl, twirling in her yellow sun dress lined with white frills, her bare feet sweeping across the softness of the green grass below, the lace tied around her waist spinning along  behind her. The sun shone, making everything glimmer that fine spring afternoon. A shadow fell over her, making her look up to see who it was, squinting against the glare of the sun to see a manly figure. She could not make out the face of the man above her, but she knew it was her father..however, when she could make out features of his face…she became certain, that it was her husband. He proceeded to lift her up by the waist, making her giggle in glee then laughter as he spun her around..and around…and around until her twirling younger self spun fast enough to make the face of her father…husband… blur across her vision. Her laughter turned to screaming, the soft warm gleam of sun became the cold harsh beam of headlights and the crackle of bending, twisting metal swallowed up every other sound.

She raised the cup to her lips and took a sip of the bitter coffee. That seemed to soothe her slightly. Her thoughts began to dwindle into single occurrences, events that made her heart in her chest pang with regret and anguish. Her past was like a dark cave, hiding a malicious creature that thrived off the darkness in her heart. With each hurtful memory came that deep anguish, one that struck a cord so deep her whole body shivered; and that creature wallowed in her displeasure. She knew, wholeheartedly, that there was nothing she could do about those past events, no place to hide them both within her mind or in the world.  Even with her mud caked robe and dirt streaked face, even with all her husband’s possessions scattered haphazardly within the shallow grave, she would not be able to erase her past; she felt burdened and heavy-laden. Burdened and heavy-laden. The phrase sounded familiar, somewhat nostalgic yet foreign, like a familiar yet unrecognizable face in a dream. She grasped for it, something of it, yet her mind brought up blanks each time, no closer than she was when she started. She took another sip of her coffee, allowing the thought to filter out and into the dark abyss that was her mind. She was lost, well and truly lost.

Dennis van der Berg stood outside the large wooden door, smoothing his dark grey suit down with one hand. It was a habit he’d developed in the early years of his ministry, one he was yet to break. Nervousness, as usual before these kinds of works, filled his stomach with a queasiness that both excited him and made him sick. He recited his exhortation softly to himself, silently mouthing all the main keywords that would help direct his conversation. When he was satisfied, he raised his hand towards the doorbell and pressed it. Nothing. He waited a while, listening for any sort of sound that would let him know that someone had heard him. A full minute passed before he pressed the doorbell again. When no one opened the door he lightly rapped on the hard wood, knocking louder with each passing minute. Finally he heard the shuffle of feet behind the door and with practiced ease, placed a friendly smile on his face. The rattle of keys came from behind the door, followed by a soft cry of frustration, some more rattling and then the tell-tale click of a door unlocking. Dennis opened his mouth to greet, a smile still across his face, but instead of a greeting his mouth remained agape, his smile faltering then drooping into an “O” of shock at the figured that appeared before him. He quickly tried to cover the shock with a smile but he found it hard to smile at the ghastly, face that peered at him from behind the slightly ajar door. She was half hidden within the darkness of the house, yet he could make out the bedraggled locks of hair that draped wildly over her face, the streaks of dirt that lined her cheeks, broken by a clear trail leading down from what was most assuredly tears. The bags under her brown eyes added ages to what should have been a young face. Dennis’ face softened, the shock wearing off as quickly as it had appeared and in its place, sorrow took hold. He felt his heart drop in his chest, weighed heavily by emotion and without thinking reached towards the door and softly whispered within her hearing,

“You look burdened and heavy laden…come to the Lord for He will give you rest.”

Rajat Narula

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