I know today is Friday Fiction day, and that will come up later today during its usual scheduled time (12:00 pm GMT+2) but before that I wanted to share something with you. A little personal frustration that maybe some of you have also experienced.
I’m restless. I dislike working on just one thing only, especially when I am able to do other things as well. If you don’t know, here are a few other things I enjoy doing:
Writing a novel or short story or flash fiction is just one aspect in a long list related to creative writing. I have written character backstories for a game I was hoping to develop. I’ve written comic book/graphic novel stories. I have written poetry, and lyrics to music, and game reviews and and and. I dislike being limited to just one form of writing when there’s so much to write about and write for.
I like to draw. I’m not the most amazing artist but I think it’s actually quite decent. The problem is, I don’t have enough time dedicated to improve my skills to an acceptable level (read: to my standard which I hope to get close to this artist – Yuumei Art).
I want to create my own comic book. Even if it’s just a one shot short story. I want to draw my own artwork and write my own story and complete my own comic book.
As for short stories or even novels, I’d like to have them augmented by my own artwork. In my mind I may have an Elfling who leaps over giant lily pads and next to the story on the next page, would be my own little sketch of said Elfling. The problem is, I know I can do it but not right now. I’d have to practice, practice, practice to get to the required level. Question is, when?
You know? Make a game? There’s a whole different aspect of both writing and art that game development requires, one of which is 3D modeling, texturing, animation, level design, system design and other varying aspects. Can you imagine the creative process (and immense amount of work) it would be to literally build a world. You can define exactly what you see in your mind in every detail so others can visually see what you see. Then, throw them in there and let them live out your story in the game.
I could create a game based on a novel. Then you get the benefit of living the novel vicariously through the game character. Wouldn’t that be awesome!?
I also have coding knowledge, I worked as a 3D object modeler using Maya 3D, I have a ton of tutorials on the entire process as well as how to create your own textures etc. I have the knowledge base to do it, but sadly, I just don’t have the time.
I have three YouTube channels. All of them are empty. I’d love to have a “Writing Series” channel, or a “Gaming with Me” channel, or a “Diary of a Creative” channel where I could explore all the things I want to do and share them with you where you not only see the finished product, but all the work it entailed and experience the joy, frustrations, battles, victories etc with me.
*Sighs even more*
I host websites. This is something I’ve always wanted to do since high school. Why? Well, I’d love to, on the side, build websites for people just for fun. I’d even do it for free if I could really, all you would have to pay for is the hosting and domain name (which are so cheap anyway). You have a small business and no website or funds to dedicate to it? I’ll do it for you!
I built my own website (NthatoMorakabi.com) but it’s not exactly what I want because I’m using a WordPress theme. Building a similar site from scratch just involves time I don’t have. Do I have coding knowledge? Yep! I just don’t have the time to set aside to do it.
The Creative’s Dilemma
So I write every day. It’s both my job and my passion. Not a day goes by where I don’t write. The problem is, sometimes while I’m writing, I’ll get a grand idea which I sketch out on my little notepad on my desk, then wish I could stop work and focus on that sketch. Sometimes it’s a website idea. Sometimes it’s a character in a game. Sometimes its a piece of flash fiction. I watch YouTubers and Instagrammers and support a couple of Patreons, and read blogs and get newsletters from all these people who are doing what I want to do. It can be incredibly inspirational, but most times it becomes disheartening. Then I become restless. I can’t wait to get home so I can do this, or that. I can’t wait for the weekend so I can do this or that. And sometimes it works and other times life gets in the way.
I would think, if I didn’t have to worry about money, and could spend the whole day being creative and upskilling in whatever way I see fit at that moment, that I could achieve all of the above. I’d like to do it now if I could, but that’s not how things work right?
Anyway, if you’ve read this far, I want to say thanks for listening. Do you have something you really want to do but can’t for whatever reason? I would love to listen and we can chat about it in the comments below.