Restlessness: The Creative’s Burden

I know today is Friday Fiction day, and that will come up later today during its usual scheduled time (12:00 pm GMT+2) but before that I wanted to share something with you. A little personal frustration that maybe some of you have also experienced.

I’m restless. I dislike working on just one thing only, especially when I am able to do other things as well. If you don’t know, here are a few other things I enjoy doing:

Writing

Writing a novel or short story or flash fiction is just one aspect in a long list related to creative writing. I have written character backstories for a game I was hoping to develop. I’ve written comic book/graphic novel stories. I have written poetry, and lyrics to music, and game reviews and and and. I dislike being limited to just one form of writing when there’s so much to write about and write for.

Drawing

I like to draw. I’m not the most amazing artist but I think it’s actually quite decent. The problem is, I don’t have enough time dedicated to improve my skills to an acceptable level (read: to my standard which I hope to get close to this artist – Yuumei Art).

I want to create my own comic book. Even if it’s just a one shot short story. I want to draw my own artwork and write my own story and complete my own comic book.

As for short stories or even novels, I’d like to have them augmented by my own artwork. In my mind I may have an Elfling who leaps over giant lily pads and next to the story on the next page, would be my own little sketch of said Elfling. The problem is, I know I can do it but not right now. I’d have to practice, practice, practice to get to the required level. Question is, when?

Drawing done earlier this year.

Game Development

You know? Make a game? There’s a whole different aspect of both writing and art that game development requires, one of which is 3D modeling, texturing, animation, level design, system design and other varying aspects. Can you imagine the creative process (and immense amount of work) it would be to literally build a world. You can define exactly what you see in your mind in every detail so others can visually see what you see. Then, throw them in there and let them live out your story in the game.

I could create a game based on a novel. Then you get the benefit of living the novel vicariously through the game character. Wouldn’t that be awesome!?

I also have coding knowledge, I worked as a 3D object modeler using Maya 3D, I have a ton of tutorials on the entire process as well as how to create your own textures etc. I have the knowledge base to do it, but sadly, I just don’t have the time.

*Sighs*

Video Series

I have three YouTube channels. All of them are empty. I’d love to have a “Writing Series” channel, or a “Gaming with Me” channel, or a “Diary of a Creative” channel where I could explore all the things I want to do and share them with you where you not only see the finished product, but all the work it entailed and experience the joy, frustrations, battles, victories etc with me.

*Sighs even more*

Web Development.

I host websites. This is something I’ve always wanted to do since high school. Why? Well, I’d love to, on the side, build websites for people just for fun. I’d even do it for free if I could really, all you would have to pay for is the hosting and domain name (which are so cheap anyway). You have a small business and no website or funds to dedicate to it? I’ll do it for you!

I built my own website (NthatoMorakabi.com) but it’s not exactly what I want because I’m using a WordPress theme. Building a similar site from scratch just involves time I don’t have. Do I have coding knowledge? Yep! I just don’t have the time to set aside to do it.

The Creative’s Dilemma

So I write every day. It’s both my job and my passion. Not a day goes by where I don’t write. The problem is, sometimes while I’m writing, I’ll get a grand idea which I sketch out on my little notepad on my desk, then wish I could stop work and focus on that sketch. Sometimes it’s a website idea. Sometimes it’s a character in a game. Sometimes its a piece of flash fiction. I watch YouTubers and Instagrammers and support a couple of Patreons, and read blogs and get newsletters from all these people who are doing what I want to do. It can be incredibly inspirational, but most times it becomes disheartening. Then I become restless. I can’t wait to get home so I can do this, or that. I can’t wait for the weekend so I can do this or that. And sometimes it works and other times life gets in the way.

I would think, if I didn’t have to worry about money, and could spend the whole day being creative and upskilling in whatever way I see fit at that moment, that I could achieve all of the above. I’d like to do it now if I could, but that’s not how things work right?

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Anyway, if you’ve read this far, I want to say thanks for listening. Do you have something you really want to do but can’t for whatever reason? I would love to listen and we can chat about it in the comments below.

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Graphic Short Stories

If there is ever one thing I seek to capture in my writing, one thing that I strive towards with each letter, word and punctuation , it would be to evoke imagery within the imagination of my readers, that sufficient detail would be given in each story, in each piece of writing, to recreate in their minds the world that I am seeing. This is the reason I invest time and effort in researching people, places, events and the like and widening my vocabulary with an extensive use of both dictionary and thesaurus. However, even in these endeavours,  the idea that a picture is worth a thousand words always comes into play once I’m done writing; this is the reason why I include with every post, an image related to the piece of writing.

Now these images I use ( usually siphoned off sites like deviantart -with reference to the artist and thank you of course ), do not truly capture the image in my head but they come close enough to it and so I do. My idea, however, and one that has been darting in and out of my thought processes for a very long time, is to personally draw the images out myself and use them in my posts. So now instead of finding images that closely resemble what I want, I’ll be able to put to paper exactly what I want.

Only issue? I suck at colour and colour shades. I’ve been working at it for years now and I’m still as “NOOB” at it as a four year old who just figured out how pencils work. So all you’ll be seeing for the next foreseeable future, should I put my pencil to paper, is black and white interpretations and never the full colour experience. Not that I’m not working on the colour thing, I won’t give up on learning and growing but for now, creating images like  the one above look to be far off.

So then what’s the purpose of this post? I have already alluded to it but not fully and this is tying in with the title of the post; Graphic Short Stories. The word “graphic” in this context is not in the sense of gruesome and visceral as horror stories tend to be but rather in the sense of artwork; like graphic novels. As we speak I have a short story I am writing (in my head) and am thinking of telling it with an accompaniment of personally drawn images. Like my own little comic book or picture story. I think it would be a nice change from the usual.

So when can you expect to see this? I am not sure. As soon as I can? I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep but I also don’t want you, dear reader, to wait in anticipation for something and I disappoint you by continually moving the dates back in order to give myself more time. Maybe I’ll add sketches as I go? I guess time will tell.

Is there anything in particular that you want to do on your blog that steps outside of your norm? Breaking away from the usual for a breath of fresh air? Are there any stories I’ve written on this blog (or that you would like me to write…or that you have written) that you would want to see actualized into drawings? Let me know and I will see if I can make a plan for you.

Sketching it out

It’s not that I haven’t been writing, it’s just that drawing has been my focus recently, trying to visualize my characters from my Walking by Faith post : Walking By Faith. Here are the sketches

Faith

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been trying to capture the personality of my characters in these sketches and so you will see that the drawings aren’t complete. The focus is more on the facial features or recognizable features like the hint of the straw hat Faith wears or the look of anger/sadness/despondence on Aaron’s face.

Please do keep visiting the site as I work on finishing my stories and novels. Thanks!