It’s been horrible. I’ve written about 3000 words in total and they are all 1st drafts of the opening scene from different perspectives. In short, I’ve barely started. I’ve been feeling like an inadequate writer after my first draft. Everything I wrote just felt and read amateurish. I was sure I’d never write a decent novel for the rest of my life… okay maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but you know what I mean.
I spent the weekend procrastinating. I didn’t touch my novel following an entire Friday attempt. Every time I thought of my novel I’d either think about starting anew or starting a completely different story. This morning, Monday the 7th, I decided to read the opening chapters to some of my favourite books. Specifically Whisper in the Dark by Robert Gregory Browne and The Program by Gregg Hurwitz. I then read a couple of short stories from a random site on Google. The conclusion? My writing wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.
I’ve gone back to one of my more favourite drafts and decided to take a second bash at it. Perhaps bolster my word count up to 4000 words by the end of the day for this particular draft which is currently on 1701 words. That means I’ll be “discarding” the other drafts and not counting those towards NaNo. I know I know, every word counts, but I want every word that counts to count if you know what I mean.
Well, on wards to glory!
How’s your NaNo writing coming along?
A-Scribe To Describe 
I love the way this creative process dances around with the white flag. I’m not doing Nano. Believe me, I am in awe of everyone who is. Good luck with the self doubt wolves, mine have made a little nest under my desk. I think there could be puppies.
“I love the way this creative process dances around with the white flag.”
Such an adequate description Jac. Thank you for your encouragement and I too hope your self doubt wolves will clear out and make way for those plot bunnies. Puppies grow up to be wolves.
Plot Bunnies! Now that’s the sort of nest I want under my desk.
You’re as crazy as I am.
You can do this!!
Thanks!
Don’t give up. It’s always darkest just before the dawn. I predict there will be a breakthrough and it will result in some scene or paragraph or page/something that will be the best writing you’ve ever done. Let your subconscious work on it and just keep putting words down on paper (even if you don’t feel like it). It takes discipline!
Indeed there is hope. Thanks Rae, I really appreciate your encouragement. So far it’s going well, I just needed to get over that first hurdle.